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Story time.
I love drinking. Not nearly as much as I do smoking, but still, it’s always a good time. Said good times are usually always rooted from how fucking stupid people become when they are completely shmammered. But I, like anyone, have done a lot of stupid shit, some worth regretting and some not so much.
Like this one time I had to piss. And this was no normal piss, but a great piss, as if I was holding the Atlantic Ocean in my trousers. So, as I found the bathroom at this house party, I was about to erupt. And, of course, there was a huge fucking line.
My drunk ass immediately said fuck this, I’m gonna go find a cup.
Eventually I did in the kitchen. And there were a few people in there but I could’ve given a flying fuck. I turned around to face the corner, pulled out my member, and let loose into one of those red party cups.
Now I was faced with a dilemma. What to do with a cup full of piss. Oh, I know, said I. I’ll put it in the fridge. I don’t know the people at this house and I could really care about my urine’s future. So I did, poured myself another drink, and started talking to the people in the room.
And then the girl of my dreams walked in.
Not because she was beautiful, not because she was smart, and nor because she was walking around with a fifth of captain. This girl caught my attention because she was the epitome of white girl wasted. She came in stumbling, looked me cross-eyed in the eyes, complimented me on how gorgeous I am, and then did the good ol’ wasted girl “Letzzztakeshumshottttts!!!”
Ok dumb bitch, let’s. And so we did.
But what did me in was when she started to look for a chaser in the fridge. And, of course, she picked my cup of piss and took one fat chug out of it.
The best part? She didn’t even notice.
This is why I love alcohol.
Copyright © 2011–2012 Honey Orchard
