I like to pretend everyone I talk to on the internet is naked and let me tell you, it’s a lovely way to live

I just blended some bananas and strawberries and blueberries and ice and then put some vodka in it and oh my fucking god

I’ve turned in to such a cynical piece of shit.

I want to punch every person in the face who thinks stricter gun laws will accomplish anything, namely preventing insane fucks like him from being able to do something truly terrible. Removing firearms from the hands of the American people will only make it that much more enticing for criminals (who probably won’t give a shit about your silly gun control laws) to break and enter, or worse. Now I hate to be logical, but rather than wasting (the already wasted) federal government expenditure on unneeded national gun control, how about we use this money to increase security in schools (i.e. low budget schools like the one in Connecticut), be it through cameras and metal detectors, or even employing police/security guards to be on campus during school hours (which in turn creates more jobs for the American people).

Because who’s to say that if a police officer had been stationed at Sandy Hook Elementary none of this would of happened.

My dad just said he’d pray for me during finals week, and I really just want to be like “you should really find better ways to spend your time.”

This kid’s over here telling me he’s a sex god because he took this girl’s virginity and now she’s a freak. Of course I was all “Dude go fuck yourself, just because you’re the first person to show someone a cheeseburger and then they fall in love with cheeseburgers doesn’t make you a cheeseburger god!” 

So ya, fucka youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!